well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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