And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
