she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
