I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
