I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
