what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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