best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize