I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
