Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I will die if light touches me.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
