So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Randomize
