i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
