i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
