I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I wish I could punch you in the face.
Sponge bath it is.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
