Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize