i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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