You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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