he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I will be naked everywhere
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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