final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
