sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
