We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
God I need to hump something, right now.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
