whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
