She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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