I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
