I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Randomize
