i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
