Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Everclear isn't food dammit
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
