sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
