he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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