hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
