I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
What a dumb baby whore.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
