This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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