i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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