Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Are we still banned from the library?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Randomize