I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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