She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
