I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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