I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
