we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
