you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
