New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
