I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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