Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
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