"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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