At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Let's get the cat blown out
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
