I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Randomize
