I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Non-Jews are for practice
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
