So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize