and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
