Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
