Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize