I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
