I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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