it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
