im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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