so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Randomize
