Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
