Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
