He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
