From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
