She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
