so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
