i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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