i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
