My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
