Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
