Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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