I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
